She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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