So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
