I wish my penis had an off switch
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
either way he was missing a nipple.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
