JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
