just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
