i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
