I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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