Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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