I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
