My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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