There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
