finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
