lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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