That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize