Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize