If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
