dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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