It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
