Is it normal to miss your booty call?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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