dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
