I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
