I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
