is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
