Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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