I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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