Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
