It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
