I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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