Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize