I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
