Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
