I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
