I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize