HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The adults are the big ones right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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