I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
