just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
