It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
