She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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