idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
