all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
