What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
