Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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