My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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