i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
