that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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