I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need a burrito and a hug.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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