I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
