She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
