There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
