i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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