I didn't shave. On purpose
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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