Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Congratulations! We have a period
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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