yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
