Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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