I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
