just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
