You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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