i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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